you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize