I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
