the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
