i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
