There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
