return my video game
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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