I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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