I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
