I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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