i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
