im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
