you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish you could order shots online.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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