i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
