Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
