It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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