it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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