I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
