if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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