"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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