A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Enjoy the penises
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize