I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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