I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize