I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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