This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
