one might say we're banned from that church
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
