I hope mine doesn't look like that
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
