It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
