It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
