I must be too annoying 4 u.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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