eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
