I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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