god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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