Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
