just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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