in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
