His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
