So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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