Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
