i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
