it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
