omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
