haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
