Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
