"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
