why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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