Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
