It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Randomize
