So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize