Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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