is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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