i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize