she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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