the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
