Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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