An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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