the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize