Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just took my morning after pill in the library
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
