We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
