At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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