Im at strip club and am horny
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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