I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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