dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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