Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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