I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
